Helpful Information about Therapy

1. Why see a therapist?

Talking about your thoughts and feelings with a supportive person makes you feel better. It can be very healing, in and of itself, to voice your worries or talk about something that’s weighing on your mind. And it feels good to be listened to—to know that someone else cares about you and wants to help.

It can be very helpful to talk about your problems to close friends and family members. But sometimes, we need help that the people around us aren’t able to provide. When you need extra support, an outside perspective, or some expert guidance, talking to a therapist can help. While the support of friends and family is important, therapy is different. Therapists are professionally-trained to help you get to the root of your problems, overcome emotional challenges, and make positive changes in your life.

You don’t have to be diagnosed with a mental health problem to benefit from therapy. Many people in therapy seek help for everyday concerns: relationship problems, job stress, or self-doubt, for example. Others turn to therapy during difficult times, such as a divorce.

2 .Therapy is an effortful process

Therapy can be time consuming and challenging, as uncomfortable emotions and thoughts often arise as part of the treatment process. However, therapy provides long-lasting benefits that go beyond symptom relief. It gives you the tools for transforming your life—for relating better to others, building the life you want for yourself, and coping with whatever curveballs come your way.

Myths about therapy

I don't need a therapist. I'm smart enough to solve my own problems. We all have our blind spots. Intelligence has nothing to do with it. A good therapist doesn’t tell you what to do or how to live your life. He or she will give you an experienced outside perspective and help you gain insight into yourself so you can make better choices.
Therapy is for crazy people. Therapy is for people who have enough self-awareness to realize they need a helping hand, and want to learn tools and techniques to become more self-confident and emotionally balanced.
All therapists want to talk about is my parents. While exploring family relationships can sometimes clarify thoughts and behaviors later in life, that is not the sole focus of therapy. The primary focus is what you need to change unhealthy patterns and symptoms in your life. Therapy is not about blaming your parents or dwelling on the past.
Therapy is self-indulgent. It’s for whiners and complainers. It is hard work. Complaining won’t get you very far. Improvement in therapy comes from taking a hard look at yourself and your life, and taking responsibility for your own actions. Your therapist will help you, but ultimately you’re the one who must do the work.

3. Finding the right therapist for you

Finding the right therapist will probably take some time and work, but it’s worth the effort. The connection you have with your therapist is essential. You need someone who you can trust—someone you feel comfortable talking to about difficult subjects and intimate secrets, someone who will be a partner in your recovery.

Learn about different treatment orientations. Many therapists do a blend of orientations. However, it’s a good idea to learn about the different treatment types, because that can affect your therapist’s way of relating and suggested length of treatment.
Trust your gut. Even if your therapist looks great on paper, if the connection doesn’t feel right—if you don’t trust the person or feel like they truly care—go with another choice. A good therapist will respect this choice and should never pressure you or make you feel guilty.

Questions to ask yourself when choosing a therapist

What’s most important in a therapist or counselor is a sense of connection, safety, and support. Ask yourself the following questions:

Does it seem like the therapist truly cares about you and your problems?
Do you feel as if the therapist understands you?
Does the therapist accept you for who you are?
Would you feel comfortable revealing personal information to this individual?
Do you feel as if you can be honest and open with this therapist? That you don’t have to hide or pretend you’re someone that you’re not?
Is the therapist a good listener? Does he or she listen without interrupting, criticizing, or judging? Pick up on your feelings and what you’re really saying? Make you feel heard?

4. Common Types of Therapy

Most therapists don’t limit themselves to one specific type of therapy, instead blending different types in order to best fit the situation at hand. This can offer many powerful tools for the therapist to use. However, therapists often have a general orientation that guides them.

Individual therapy. Individual therapy explores negative thoughts and feelings, as well as the harmful or self-destructive behaviors that might accompany them. The client may delve into the underlying causes of current problems (such as unhealthy relationship patterns or a traumatic experience from your past), but the primary focus is on making positive changes in the here and now.
Family therapy. Involves treating more than one member of the family at the same time to help the family resolve conflicts and improve interaction. It is often based on the premise that families are a system. If one role in the family changes all are affected and need to change their behaviors as well.
Couples therapy (marriage counseling). Couples therapy involves the two people in a committed relationship. People learn how to work through their differences, communicate better and problem-solve challenges in the relationship.

5. What to expect in therapy or counseling

Every therapist is different, but there are usually some similarities to how sessions are structured. Normally, they will last about 45 minutes about once a week, although for more intensive therapy they maybe more often.

Therapy is a partnership. Both you and your therapist contribute to the healing process. You're not expected to do the work of recovery all by yourself, but your therapist can’t do it for you either. Therapy should feel like a collaboration.
Therapy will not always feel pleasant. Painful memories, frustrations or feelings might surface. This is normal, and your therapist will guide you through this process. Be sure to communicate with him/her about how you are feeling.
Therapy should be a safe place. While there will be times when you’ll feel challenged or when you’re facing unpleasant feelings, you should always feel safe. If you’re starting to feel overwhelmed or you’re dreading your therapy sessions, talk to your therapist.

Your first therapy sessions

The first session or two of therapy is a time for mutual connection, a time for the therapist to learn about you and your issues. The therapist may ask for a mental and physical health history.

It’s also a good idea to talk to the therapist about what you hope to achieve in therapy. Together, you can set goals and benchmarks that you can use to measure your progress along the way.

This is also an important time for you to be evaluating your connection with your therapist. Do you feel like your therapist cares about your situation, and is invested in your recovery? Do you feel comfortable asking questions and sharing sensitive information?

How long does therapy last?

Everyone’s treatment is different. How long therapy lasts depends on many factors. You may have complicated issues, or a relatively straightforward problem that you want to address. Some treatment types are short term, while others may be longer. Practically, you might also be limited by your insurance coverage.

However, discussing the length of therapy is important to bring up with your therapist at the beginning. This will give you an idea of starting goals to work towards and what you want to accomplish. Don’t be afraid to revisit this issue at any time as therapy progresses, as goals often are modified or changed during treatment.

6. Making the most of therapy and counseling

To make the most of therapy, you need to put what you’re learning in your sessions into practice in your real life. 45 minutes in therapy each week isn’t going to fix you; it’s how you use what you’ve learned with the rest of your time. Here are some tips for getting the most out of your therapy:

Don’t expect the therapist to tell you what to do. You and your therapists are partners in your recovery. He/she can help guide you and make suggestions for treatment, but only you can make the changes you need to move forward.
Make a commitment to your treatment. Don’t skip sessions unless you absolutely have to. If your therapist gives you homework in between sessions, be sure to do it. If you find yourself skipping sessions or are reluctant to go, ask yourself why. Are you avoiding painful discussion? Did last session touch a nerve? Talk about your reluctance with your therapist.
Share what you are feeling. You will get the most out of it if you are open and honest with your therapist about your feelings. If you feel embarrassed or ashamed, or something is too painful to talk about, don’t be afraid to say so. Slowly, you can work together to get at the issues.

7. Is therapy working?

You should be able to tell within a session or two whether you and your therapist are a good fit. But sometimes, you may like your therapist but feel like you aren’t making progress. It’s important to evaluate your progress to make sure you’re getting what you need from therapy.

A word of caution: There is no smooth, fast road to recovery. It’s a process that’s full of twists, turns, and the occasional backtrack. Sometimes, what originally seemed like a straightforward problem turns into a more complicated issue. Be patient and don’t get discouraged over temporary setbacks. It’s not easy to break old, entrenched patterns.

Remember that growth is difficult, and you won’t be a new person overnight. But you should notice positive changes in your life. Your overall mood might be improving, for example. You may feel more connected to family and friends. Or a crisis that might have overwhelmed you in the past doesn’t throw you as much this time.

Tips for evaluating your progress in therapy

Is your life changing for the better? Look at different parts of your life: work, home, your social life.
Are you meeting the goals you have set?
Is therapy challenging you? Is it stretching you beyond your comfort zone?
Do you feel like you’re starting to understand yourself better?
Do you feel more confident and empowered?
Are your relationships improving?

8. When to stop therapy or counseling

When to stop depends on you and your individual situation. Ideally, you will stop when you and your therapist have decided that you have met your goals.

Leaving therapy can be difficult. Remember that the therapeutic relationship is a strong bond, and ending this relationship is a loss – even if treatment has been successful. Talk about this with your therapist. These feelings are normal. It's not uncommon for people to go re-visit therapy from time to time as needs arise.

As long as you continue to progress in therapy, it's an option

Some people continue to go to therapy on an ongoing basis. That’s okay, especially if you don’t have other people to turn to for support in your life. Ideally, your therapist will be able to help you develop outside sources of support, but that’s not always possible. If therapy meets an important need in your life and the expense is not an issue, continuing indefinitely is a legitimate choice.

(Adapted from www.helpguide.org)